A man Carnegie loved to use as an example was a fishing enthusiast. When he went fishing, he did not think about what he himself wanted to eat. He put a worm on the hook — because that is what the fish wanted. Why, Carnegie asked, do we not apply the same logic to people? Whenever you need to move someone — to convince them, motivate them, get their cooperation — the question is not: what do I want? The question is: what do they want? What is in it for them? This is not manipulation. It is the opposite of manipulation. Manipulation is tricking someone into thinking something serves them when it does not. Seeing things from another person's perspective and genuinely connecting their interests to what you are asking — that is the most honest form of communication there is. Carnegie tells a story about a father who kept nagging his son to do well in school. The nagging produced nothing but resentment. Then the father changed approach. Instead of talking about grades and his own anxiety, he started asking his son about his dreams. The son wanted to be an engineer. The father started talking about engineers — what they needed to know, how maths and physics directly connected to the things his son wanted to build. The son's attitude changed completely. The father had found the worm. Kola is trying to persuade Adaeze to help with a community project. He says: it will look great on your CV and give you leadership experience before you apply to university. Adaeze is now listening — not because Kola manipulated her, but because he took thirty seconds to think about what she actually cared about. Henry Ford, Carnegie notes, had one formula that explained much of his success: if there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from their angle as well as your own. That is all. See it from where they stand.