Lustberg's second major argument is captured in a phrase that coaches and communication trainers use widely: perception is reality. Not because perceptions are accurate, they frequently are not. But because in human interaction, the perception the other person forms is the reality they act from, regardless of what you intended. Most people manage the intent side of communication carefully: they think about what they want to say, what impression they want to create, how they want to be perceived. They invest almost nothing in finding out whether the impression they intend is the impression they create. The gap between intended and actual perception is the source of most communication failures that the communicator never understands. The person who thinks they come across as confident but is actually perceived as arrogant. The person who thinks they are coming across as careful and thorough but is perceived as uncertain and hesitant. The person who believes they are projecting warmth but whose body language signals closed and defensive. Lustberg's coaching method involves extensive use of video: watching yourself on camera is one of the fastest and most humbling ways to close the gap between intent and perception. What you think you are doing and what the camera shows are often substantially different. His practical argument is simple: the only way to close the gap is to get accurate data about how you are actually perceived, which requires feedback from people who will tell you the truth.